These days Internet dating is huge. If you’re serious about
finding The One and are NOT using internet dating, you’re missing
out on one of the most powerful ways to meet potential mates. But as with
everything, there is a right and a wrong way to create an outstanding
profile. With a great profile, you open up a world of possibilities and
draw interesting, attractive prospects. With the wrong one, you'll send
people running for the hills even if you really are Ms. or Mr. Wonderful.
Or worse yet, you'll be attracting the wrong type of responses.
Unfortunately, in a vast sea of profiles, making one blunder
can mean the difference between no dates and lots of dates! So whether
you’re new to Internet dating and not sure how to get started or
you’ve been online but aren’t getting the response you deserve,
read on to learn the most common profile mistakes. Armed with this information,
you can craft a profile that will get you noticed!
One: Internet Dating is For Losers
Although Internet dating is for smart people ready for action towards
a goal, you’d be surprised how many people start their profile off
with something like, “I can’t believe it’s come to this.”
Believe me, that gives readers the wrong vibe about what kind of person
you are. You’re implying that there must be something wrong with
you if you’re using Internet dating. Worse, it also suggests that
there’s something wrong with the person reading your profile if
they’ve had to “stoop” to finding love online. You’re
trying to draw people in, not insult them! Therefore, mom’s old
adage applies “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t
say anything at all.”
Two: Yeah, But Who Are YOU?
Although brevity is supposed to be the soul of wit, when it comes to your
profile, being too succinct is a problem. After all, you’re supposed
to create some interest, spark some intrigue. Without giving your reader
something to react to, something to be drawn to, they will just click
on to the next. While, it’s true that people have short attention
spans on line- you do want to leave an impression that you’re someone
with something interesting to say.
Three: 101 Traits of the Perfect Partner
On the other hand, writing a book is equally problematic. Long-winded
profiles usually go into excruciating detail about the kind of qualities
you’re seeking in your ideal partner. Remember what they say about
giving yourself a long rope?…It’s often enough to hang yourself
with. If you give a laundry list of specifics about who you’re looking
for, you’ll scare off too many potentially great partners who will
fear that they don’t match enough of your stringent requirements.
By being more moderate, you’ll draw more people in. This is what
you want- getting as many initial replies as you can gives YOU the power
to explore more prospective mates. You never can be sure what package
your soul mate will arrive in!
Mistake Number Four: Obviously Jaded
Here’s a test: what’s your first reaction when you read- “No
players or head games.” I’ll tell you what it’s not:
“Oh great, I can’t wait to meet this jaded, cynical person
who is expecting the worst.” I hate to say it, but women are more
often guilty of this than men. Sure, life can be rough and dating can
be even rougher, but no one is attracted to negative, pessimistic people
who appear to have baggage. Leave your baggage at the airport.
Five: Describing What You Do, Not Who You Are
Often people make the error of describing only the activities that they
engage in. It’s great if you can find a partner who enjoys the same
interests as you, but what makes people fall in love is WHO you are, not
what you do. So try to describe the kind of person you are. But avoid
the other common trap of listing 12 adjectives that describe your personality.
Sure, that gives a tiny glimpse into who you might be. But more enlightening
(and entertaining) would be a story or short description that explains
how you embody a particular characteristic.
Six: Cloning Gone Awry
It’s not uncommon to walk away from a profile thinking, “Great-
they like to eat, watch movies, and cuddle…like everyone else on
the planet.” Problem is- your reader still doesn’t know why
you’re unique- why they should bother to contact you! In Colorado,
that problem is even more widespread since so many people describe themselves
as outdoorsy lovers of hiking, biking, skiing, etc. To stand out- you’ve
got to let your unique self shine through! What makes you different from
others? What are you passionate about?
Seven: Neurotic R’ Us
Watch out for sounding desperate, neurotic, insecure, arrogant, or selfish.
These are what I call the big red flags- write something that falls into
one of these categories and you can guarantee that readers will be offended.
Talking about how lonely you are, acting like everyone you meet is below
you, or sounding like you need someone to save you spells trouble. So
whatever you do- avoid including any red flag statements in your profile.
Sometimes it’s a topic, sometimes it’s a tone. You can get
away with some mistakes, but this isn’t one of them! Have a friend
proof read your ad before posting it- just to make sure!
Eight: Kiddie Take Over
Many people are single after a divorce and have kids. That’s life
and there’s nothing wrong with it. Your kids are important to you,
so go ahead and mention them in your ad. Even show a picture of them-
but do not make the mistake of sounding like your children have completely
taken over your life. If it seems like your role as mom or dad is all
you have time for, potential suitors will think there’s no room
in your life for them!
Mistake Number Nine:
No Smiling Faces
Picture selection is key. First off- you have to put up a picture! Profiles
with pics receive so many more responses, that it’s almost not worth
posting a profile without one- no matter what you look like! So don’t
be shy. But you’d be surprised how many people post unbecoming pics-
with the most common mistake being not showing off your smile! Your primary
picture is your first chance to make a positive impression- and often
your last- so make sure you look happy, open, friendly and fun!
Ten: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Nothing says louder, “I have a big ego” then posting 8, 12,
14 pictures of yourself! Having several is great! You need a good head
shot, a flattering body pose, and then maybe a fun one of you doing something
you enjoy. Since people often look remarkably different in various photos,
having several pictures decreases the likelihood that your date will be
unpleasantly surprised upon meeting. However, posting too many pics sends
a negative message. Stick with a max of 5 great shots.
Your Soulmate is waiting
Start attracting them today!
See how to Super-Charge
Your Soulmate Magnet here
Haven't You Waited
Happily Ever After Starts Right Now!